Career Change

Tax free life....sweet

There’s a mechanic’s workshop just down the street from my place here in Auckland. It belongs to a Japanese family who have lived here for nearly 20 years. The place is more of a social club than a workshop, with lots of Japanese drifting in and out of the place. Mom and pop are nearing retirement age and hang around the place all day chatting with visitors. They are nice people but they are also the kind of immigrants that tend to annoy Kiwis a bit. After 20 years here their English ability is pathetic. They live in a kind of bubble where everything is just as it was at home. They have no need to assimilate and are able to get along just fine without becoming part of NZ society. Their two  sons are a different story. They both speak good English and seem to like living here. So it was a bit of a surprise when the oldest brother who runs the workshop told me the family are packing up and going back to Japan. His brother will stay here but his parents will be going with him. He is in his mid-thirties and is married with a child. His wife is Japanese. They went to visit her parents for the New Year holiday and while he was there he was offered a job.  This job is no ordinary job however. He was offered the position of a monk. 

When I heard this I was a bit astounded. I was under the impression that becoming a monk isn’t the kind of thing you could just do because it sounds like a bit of a lark. I thought you might have to be deeply religious for one thing. Believing in God would also be of some help. Then there are the years of studying and training and all that sitting around meditating while being hit with sticks. Not so it seems. Now I know the Japanese view of God and religion is somewhat, shall we say, flexible, but I had no idea just how easy it is to become a holy man. Apparently this mechanic’s father in law is the resident monk of a small temple somewhere in the countryside in the middle of Honshu. He looks after the temple and does all the stuff monks do for the local area. The temple comes with a large house and a bit of farmland where undoubtedly there is a load of veggies growing. The father in law is getting on a bit and is looking to retire. Normally his first son would inherit his position but he only has daughters. The eldest daughter had married and her husband was teed up to become the monk. A divorce sunk that plan however. No.2 daughter is also married but her husband has been earmarked to take over his family’s business. Now this is a bit of a problem for the father. This temple is not owned by him. It belongs to the government and if he retires he has to vacate it. That includes the house he 

Monks....fun

lives in. The old man needed a family member to sign up for this quick smart. If he can’t, he’s outdoors.  As the last available son in law, it’s this guy’s for the taking. The house is big enough for his family and the in-laws. So, I ask, what does being a monk involve? The monk looks after the temple all the various little shrines scattered around the locality. He also does funerals, blessings and the odd exorcism. Japs are very superstitious and the only way to get a bad spirit or ghost out of your house is to call in a monk. After bit of chanting, some incense and Y100,000 you have a ghost free house. Monks don’t earn huge money but what they do get is tax free. When you add free accommodation and land to grow food plus a live in babysitter, it starts to look good. Now, you can’t just shave your head and throw on a sheet and then claim to be a monk. You have to register. To do this you need to do a 1 month course and pass an exam. And…… that’s about it. Once you’ve got this piece of paper you’re the genuine item. I guess then you should try to find enlightenment but it seems that this is optional. As a monk you can have a wife, smoke, drink and even go drift racing if you want to. The only downside to it is that it’s not exactly a 9 to 5 gig. People can call on you at any time so you need to be there all the time. Or at least have your  i-phone on all the time.  And that’s how a mechanic becomes a monk.