The Pharmacist

26/05/11 

Being sick in Japan sucks. I have had an annoying cough for the last 2 weeks which I though was going away but has suddenly mutated and come roaring back. As a rule, I don't get sick. My last visit to a doctor was 12 years ago. I don't know any Japanese vocab for medical terms as I have never needed it. I think that I would have to be at deaths door before I could be bothered with the obstacle course that going to see a doctor here would be. So I decided to visit the temple of the multinational drug companies.....ie the pharmacy. Back home pharmacists are people’s first port of call. Generally they are helpful and make good calls. They're kind of a poor mans doctor. Pharmacists here are the most unintuitive people in the world. Common sense logical gestures and sign language goes right over their heads. Trying to communicate the simplest of things to these so called professionals has always left me frustrated in the past.

I love this sign. So un-pc.

So it was with great trepidation and low expectations that we headed to Kawanishi and the big drugstore on the main drag. Entering I thought it was all going to go as I feared. It was like a supermarket full of unidentifiable bottles and boxes. Where would you start? A quick look at the staff on the checkouts….all teenage girls on minimum wage. Great for finding out who's top of the J-pop charts but utterly useless for much else. But then I spotted an older man in a white coat. Throwing caution to the wind I approached him and asked him for some cough syrup. To my surprise he replied he could speak some English. Wow!, great. I explained my symptoms. Unfortunately his English was pretty sketchy but we were able to establish a few things. He handed me a box of tablets. Not exactly what I was expecting but looking at the diagram on the box it looked to be a cough treatment. Take 3 a day he told me. That was about the extent of his English. I was about to try and ask for a bottle of cough syrup when I suddenly got this feeling that I should just go with his instructions. Maybe it was his calm demeanour or his distinguished grey hair. Whatever it was, I decided to take these unidentifiable pills and see what happens. I think the most important asset a medical professional can have is a strong aura of quiet competence. When I watch those hospital trauma reality shows I am always struck by how the doctors can remain so calm when confronted with horrific injuries. You never hear any of them say "Oh my God. What a mess!" when presented with a car accident victim or "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" when someone amputates a limb with a chainsaw. Probably its the first thing they learn at med school. Keep your mouth shut and even if you haven't a clue what to do at least pretend that you do. Actually, when I think of it, that would apply to a lot of professions where how you act is just as important as what you do. The last thing you would want to see is a panicking pilot or a bewildered defence lawyer. My Kiwi colleagues think I'm a bit nuts to just take these pills without really knowing what they are but I'm going with my instincts and am going to take 3 a day. Just like the man said.