Paihia

Legoland at the beach!

This week was the annual lads weekend away. This is a tradition that started about 6 years ago and has featured venues such as Rotorua, New Caledonia and of more recent years, the Bay of Islands. The last 3 years we have stayed in Russell but this year decided on Paihia. This event usually features renting a big and ostentatious house. This time of year they go for a fraction of the summer rates. Our group then proceeds to spend the next few days living like millionaires and lounging around eating, drinking and talking a whole lot of crap. Having stayed in some of the finest houses in NZ we are all now highly qualified in critiquing architecture and decor. This year the house was a strange mix of high quality interior fittings and exterior design that just doesn't work. When I first saw it I assumed it was an old house that had been renovated but this place was built about 10 years ago. For some inexplicable reason the designer seems to have been going for that awful 1950's NZ beach house look. It's a wooden house featuring old style linear weatherboard. Anybody who uses this stuff for a modern house is fucked in the head. All you achieve is to make it look like a state house with big windows. Then they used aluminium joinery which is great stuff but just looks wrong in this kind of house. Finally, instead of going with a corrugated iron roof which would have been correct, they used red tiles. The result is that is looks like sometime a kid would make from Lego. Having said all that the interior was beautifully done and I would go back there again. The biggest problem with the place was the big TV screen and Sky decoder being in the main lounge/dining room. TV rooms should be hidden in a basement somewhere. TV sucks the life out of people and kills conversation dead. Shane woke up on Friday morning at 8.30AM and switched on the TV. He proceed to have a Sky marathon and spent the next 16 hours flicking through the discovery channel, the living channel, the history channel and the nation geographic channel. I can't figure out why anybody would go on holiday and just sit watching crap on TV. I hate the way a TV dominates a living area and draws everybody in. Switch it off and you will get good social interaction, good conversation and everyone engages with each other. Switch it on and the result is a bunch of non communicative people gazing at the screen or in some cases falling asleep.

Pahia beachfront

Paihia is a bit of a dump. Whereas Russell is quaint and historical, Paihia is purely commercial. Take away all the souvenir shops and the tour operators and you've not much left. The place is really busy at new years....if you want to ride a jetboat, go big game fishing  or swim with dolphins this is the place for you. But at this time of year there's not much going on. I felt sorry for all the backpacker types who have come all this way to see awful weather and a one horse town. Everything touristy in this country depends on fine weather. That  means December to April. NZ is really one of the best places in the world for these 4 months. If you're thinking of comming here during May-September....don't. You won't like it.

Builders & Bicycles

It being the rainy season, I was a bit worried about the damage to the roof. The house is very tall and it's impossible to see clearly how bad it is. Shizuka fired off an email to our favourite building company in Osaka and within a couple of days we had pictures of the damage and a quote to fix it. Great service. The damage is not too bad but you need a long ladder and a bit of nerve to climb up there. Heights don't bother me and I've been up there before but everyone else who has been there has said they wouldn't go up on a ladder. I guess the builder is of the same opinion because he claims that they will erect a scaffolding to do the job. The damage is 3 broken tiles, a big dent in the alloy flashing and a crack in the siding. They have quoted Y300,000 which is a ludicrous amount for this small job. Apparently the scaffolding cost accounts for 50% of the bill. It looks like I will be going up there again! I am sure I can replace the tiles and silicone up the crack in about 1 hour. The flashing can be reshaped with an autobody hammer and while it wont be perfect it won't be noticed from street level. The builder put a temporary patch over the damaged area so we don't have to worry about leaks.

A couple of days ago I was talking to a friend in Osaka on Skype. He told me about an incident he had just been involved in. He was out and about town in his new Toyota Prius. (yes, we have all told him that it is the silliest car in the world) He was stopped at an intersection waiting to move from a side street onto the main road. A schoolboy on a bicycle came hurtling along the footpath and crashed straight into his car. Luckily he hit the right front wheel so the car was not really damaged. Just a scratch on the fender. This idiot schoolkid went flying off his bike and landed in the middle of the main road. It was his lucky day as there wasn't any traffic at that particular moment and he didn't end up squashed under a truck as he deserved to be. He was OK but his bicycle was looking a bit sad...bent forks, buckled wheel, basically fucked up. My friend is married to a Japanese and luckily she was in the car at the time. As the bike was now non operational they offered to take him to the nearest station. Abandoning his bike on the side of the road (just another one of thousands) he jumped into the car. This kid is 15 years old and has by the time they reached the station figured that he might just get some money out of this gaijin. He refuses to get out of the car until they give him their name and address and registration number on paper. Pointing out that it's entirely his fault doesn't make a bit of difference as this kid is adamant that someone should pay for a new bicycle. In Japan it's customary to just give people money to make them go away. A bicycle costs about Y9000 (NZ$150) but you then run the risk that they may reappear later with added complications like a sore neck. If you've given them money it's the same as admitting liability. Anyway, this kid gets out on receiving their details. That evening there's a call from the police. Apparently there's to be an investigation and my friend and his wife will have to go for an interview at a police station which is 40 mins drive away. The cops have been to the scene and taken photos and now are proceeding to thoroughly investigate this most serious incident. They take pictures of the Prius and statements from Nick and his wife. Two police officers spend over a hour doing this. As he puts it, its a ridiculous waste of everybodys time. After that his Insurance company calls. They have put an investigator on the job in case the kid makes a claim. He tells them that the police will probably assign 20% of the blame to him and 80% to this moron schoolboy. Seeing as repainting the scratch would cost more than 20% of a new bike the kid will be advised not to claim for anything and to pull his head in. This is the way the Justice system works in Japan. A clear cut case which common sense would sort out in 2 minutes will turn into a big production involving a large cast of characters and drag on for ages. Japan has many good and bad things about it but undoubtedly the single worst thing about the country is the Justice system.

A Mixed Bag

4/6/11 After a couple of days of car auctions and other car related stuff we had a free day on Friday. Our flight doesn't leave until 8.30PM so the morning was spent strolling around Namba and Shin Sekai. I like trawling around the old shops full of old electrical equipment and machinery and tools. I did not know that there was such a thing as a computer parts recycler. There was all manner of obsolete components available, even some old glass valves. Another thing that seems to be growing in popularity is the electrically assisted bicycle. I don't know why anyone would pay Y70-80,000 for one of these things when you can have a good 50cc scooter for the same price. Osaka central is a decrepit place but there is a certain buzz to it and the rents are pretty high for accommodation. It makes me think that the next property I buy should be in this area. In the afternoon we went to Tenpozan. This place always has a relaxed feel to it even though its close to Namba. The cruise ship terminal gives a rare chance to access the waterfront and almost gives it a seaside feeling.

That evening we took the train out to KIX and got on an almost full airplane. Back home to a wet and windy NZ.

Pretending to work

So.....what did we learn from this experience? Firstly, the weather in Japan is just as unpredictable as any where else. The week before was hot. The weeks we were there were cold. The following week was hot. Then there was the typhoon in May. Nothing unique there....so much for all that crap about the seasons you constantly hear.  Secondly, Insurance everywhere is a great big rip off. We had travel insurance, car insurance and house insurance. Guess what? We ain't covered by any of it for damage to the Serena by the neighbours tree. It's just one of those things that no one is responsible for. When I do or fail to do something there is always someone holding me responsible and demanding something but, when something happens to me, ah well, that's different. Thirdly, travel agents are a group of people than I no longer need to have in my life. For the last couple of years I have booked my own flights and accommodation. This trip, being a group event, we ended up using an agent who was a friend of someones wife. As well as screwing up our seats she neglected to inform us that the return date we requested wasn't available and just booked us on the one the next day. Won't be doing that again.

On the plus side of the ledger I got the repaired wall tidied up, pulled out the big privet bush, fixed the front step, got the new tatami mats and sprayed all the weeds. Subtract the van situation plus the damage to the flashing and tiles up on the roof and the fact that now there's 3 huge pieces of tree lying on the boundary and I feel it was a case of 3 steps forward two steps back.

Toyota

Toyota's first car...stylish!

31/05/11 Today it stopped raining so we went to Nagoya. The purpose of this trip was to visit the Toyota Technology Museum. Getting onto the Meishin Expressway at Kyoto we ran smack into a 14km traffic jam. Roadworks. I am not a road engineer or expressway designer or traffic flow consultant. I am way too sensible to be employed in this field. To have these jobs one must be totally bereft of common sense. To close one lane of a 2 lane highway for 14kms when you are actually working on a couple of 50 metre stretches is an act of stunning stupidity. There were dozens of roadworker types pointlessly waving flags and busily standing around doing nothing. Every now and then we came across a yellow machine or two doing something but 99% of the closed lane had absolutely no activity. Not content with merely ruining the day of those eastbound, they have also done the same on the other side of the median barrier. At home I have often witnessed roadwork projects and thought that they progress at a snails pace or that what they are doing is totally unnecessary but at least they don't close half the road for miles while they do a bit here and a bit there. It's a ludicrous idea that serves no practical purpose which, by the looks of it, will be there for quite some time. After that it was a quick cruise up to Nagoya. Nagoya City is much easier on the eye than Osaka. The streets are wider, the traffic less manic and the buildings look like they were actually planned rather than thrown together. It's cleaner and more modern and is just an all round nicer place to move around. The Toyota Museum is a must see for car enthusiasts. It's in the original Toyoda Loom and textile factory which is a magnificent old red brick building that looks just like the quintessential English Industrial revolution era factory. The place has been restored and is absolutely immaculate. They have set up parts of the car production line from the mid nineties and you can see exactly how the cars are built. There's lots of practical demonstrations of stamping steel panels and casting engine blocks and other such things. They also have on display some great models from the past. There is a model AA which was Toyota's first car back in the 1930's. According to the helpful and attractive hostess, no original AA's have survived so Toyota initiated a project to build some replicas. They used the same methods as the originals, from the wooden frames to the hand formed steel body panels. The workmanship is incredible and video footage of the cars being built hints at the huge cost that must have been involved in building them. There were 4 cars completed and several others are in various stages of completion and which are used as part of the mockup production line. Finished in gleaming black with gorgeous mohair seats and the huge chrome bonnet ornament featuring the old Toyoda logo, these are a rare and priceless car. If I were a billionaire I would just have to own one. Also on display were some of the legendary engines that have powered Toyota's over the years. I think it's great to see a Japanese car company pay some attention to it's heritage and to actually preserve some of it's icon models. A lot of these early model Japanese cars are starting to become quite sought after and with so few survivors, the prices are steadily increasing. I know I would love to have my first car again. It was a 1978 Corolla SR coupe KE35. That car would be worth close to $10,000 now. There is a early 70's model Celica in the museum that has never been used and which I would kill to have. Anyway, we spent hours there and all agreed that for Y700 and with free parking, the Toyota technical Museum is one of Japans tourist gems...if you're a car nut at least.

Toyota Technology Museum

The way back wasn't so bad with the queue nearing Kyoto not nearly as long as going the other way. The little Passo surprised us cruising happily at 130km/h. Japanese highways amuse me in the way that the speed limits are routinely ignored by everyone. Why put silly speed limit signs like 60km/h on an expressway and then let everyone drive twice as fast? Even at 100km/h tiny Kei cars rocket past you. The attitude towards speed is typically illogical here. Cars here are produced with a maximum speed of 180km/h indicated on the speedometer. Many are capable of much greater speeds and for foreign markets have different speedos with higher markings fitted. Similarly with engine power outputs, untily fairly recently the horsepower figures quoted where limited to 280hp even though they are more powerful in reality. In all the distance we travelled today we did not see one single police car. In NZ the highway is infested with traffic cops with radar and speed cameras all looking to part you from your cash. Perhaps the attitude here, while a little strange to us, is more mature and well adjusted.

Trip Upcountry

Kyotango Coastline

30/05/11 

With our Serena van out of action, we decided to rent a car. Toyota Rentals has a branch in Kameoka so arrangements were made to pick it up from there at 9AM. In order to get there we had to take the local bus. I have only used a bus in Japan a couple of times. My impressions were small seats, old people and a slow trip. I remembered the odd system they have here of getting on through the rear door and paying as you get off. Anyway, this bus is a half size one being a countryside service and at this time of the morning was full of school kids and office types going to work. I had thought that 3 gaijins might cause a bit of a stir but nobody batted an eyelid. The trip was surprisingly quick until we got close to the city and got stuck in the morning traffic. It seems to me that while they can build great bus bodies, the Japanese have no clue about how to create comfortable and efficient interiors. The seats are too narrow, too close together and are at different heights. Despite these facts, there are not very many seats. The aisle is too wide suggesting that they would prefer you to stand while on a bus but have thrown in a few seats as a courtesy to the old or infirm. One good thing is the scoreboard thing above the front windscreen telling you how much money the fare will be if you get off now.

Once in town we headed for the rental office and picked up our Toyota Passo. The weather was not great with a bit of rain and wind and temps about 20 degrees. This cool weather is getting to be a big hassle. Expecting hot weather we all packed shorts and t shirts and have little in the way of clothing for this climate. Once we got the car we decided to head out exploring straightaway. We set a course for the Kyotango area which has some nice coastline and beaches to check out. On the way there we stopped to have a look at a dam. The lake behind the dam was full of floating debris from the typhoon and heaps of broken tree branches were piled up against the dam. The other side was far more spectacular. The dam operators had opened the spillway and tons of water was poring down the wall. The basin must not be that deep as the water, on hitting the bottom, bounced high into the air. In effect it created a 20 metre high standing wave. The noise and spray from this mountain of brown water was incredible.

All around us were signs of the storm. Lots of fallen trees, mud on the road and in a little village called Ine we came upon a big landslide which had swept a couple of houses away. It must have just happened as lots of electric company and road worker types were running around and some paramedic people were there too. One small truck was completely squashed by some big trees which put our little incident into perspective. Further north is the open sea and the waves were mountainous. We stopped in a place called Kamanyu for a look. There was nobody about as the weather has kept all the fishing fleet in port. I guess they were all taking time out from the tough life of the seafood industry. This place is all about fishing. Everyone and everything here is pretty much connected to the business of pillaging the ocean.  There were piles of nets lying around, squid boats with arrays of huge light bulbs and everywhere you went, that strong smell of fish. I wonder if you ever get used to that stink. Maybe if you live here you don't even notice it .This must be a hard place to live in the winter. The ocean fights back and everything here is weather beaten and the predominant colour is rust. The massive concrete seawalls are crumbling and the huge piles of tetrapods slowly breaking up.  Further along there was some spectacular cliffs and a few patches of white sand. We passed through a village where the houses line one side of the road with the beach on the other side. In NZ these houses would have large windows to capture the great view. Here, every single window facing the sea is either tiny or of frosted glass. Its a contrast the never fails to strike me. These small fishing villages are a world away from Namba and Shinjuku. They are not glamorous or high tech. The pace is relaxed and you get the feeling that nothing changes around here. All the people we met were friendly and authentic. The guys agreed that this is a side of Japan that tourists rarely see and were glad they had seen something more interesting than what you get on a tour bus.

Typhoon

29/05/11 

Sunday brought a typhoon. It also brought an unwelcome event in the form of a tree falling on our Nissan Serena van when it was parked on the driveway. It was a big old dead tree on the neighbouring plot. Luckily no one was near it when it did its thing and it barely clipped the house so minimal damage there. This tree  broke into 4 big pieces when it fell. The big heavy part landed on the driveway beside mine. The next biggest part landed on the van and punched right through the windscreen. There are 2 main issues with this. One is that there is a big hole in the front screen which makes the van useless in this weather. Secondly, this isn’t our van. It belongs to our agent’s wife and is not covered under her insurance. This is a big problem. We could fix it reasonably cheaply with used parts but he is insisting on new parts and the repairs to be done by Nissan. This will cost more than the car is worth. We are not really in a position to argue this as he did loan it to us. Not wanting to take a bath on fixing this van, we decided to buy it from him. This way we can repair it cheaply and resell it there. It’s a loss minimizing exercise but we all have some experience in this aspect of the car business.

The other pieces of the tree fell on to the road. One of them hit the stone pillar at the gate and knocked the flat capstone off. This stone is about 20 kgs and it must have flipped right over and landed flat on the road as it was entirely undamaged. All we had to do was lift it back into place. We scrambled to clear all the bits of tree off the road and lift the big piece off the van. It was pouring rain at the time so nobody got any photos. I don't know the laws here about liability for such things but I'm picking that, as usual, nobody is responsible for anything and that I will have to pay for it all. So the rest of Sunday was spent at home having a typhoon party. We ventured out around lunchtime and checked out the local creek. Normally quiet, it’s a raging torrent today. On the way back we saw tiny crabs scuttling about in the drains on the roadside. Crabs on a mountain? So for tomorrow we have arranged a rental car for the few days we have left here. One upside to this incident is that the neighbour across the road has been very sympathetic and I feel I have made good progress there.

The Pharmacist

26/05/11 

Being sick in Japan sucks. I have had an annoying cough for the last 2 weeks which I though was going away but has suddenly mutated and come roaring back. As a rule, I don't get sick. My last visit to a doctor was 12 years ago. I don't know any Japanese vocab for medical terms as I have never needed it. I think that I would have to be at deaths door before I could be bothered with the obstacle course that going to see a doctor here would be. So I decided to visit the temple of the multinational drug companies.....ie the pharmacy. Back home pharmacists are people’s first port of call. Generally they are helpful and make good calls. They're kind of a poor mans doctor. Pharmacists here are the most unintuitive people in the world. Common sense logical gestures and sign language goes right over their heads. Trying to communicate the simplest of things to these so called professionals has always left me frustrated in the past.

I love this sign. So un-pc.

So it was with great trepidation and low expectations that we headed to Kawanishi and the big drugstore on the main drag. Entering I thought it was all going to go as I feared. It was like a supermarket full of unidentifiable bottles and boxes. Where would you start? A quick look at the staff on the checkouts….all teenage girls on minimum wage. Great for finding out who's top of the J-pop charts but utterly useless for much else. But then I spotted an older man in a white coat. Throwing caution to the wind I approached him and asked him for some cough syrup. To my surprise he replied he could speak some English. Wow!, great. I explained my symptoms. Unfortunately his English was pretty sketchy but we were able to establish a few things. He handed me a box of tablets. Not exactly what I was expecting but looking at the diagram on the box it looked to be a cough treatment. Take 3 a day he told me. That was about the extent of his English. I was about to try and ask for a bottle of cough syrup when I suddenly got this feeling that I should just go with his instructions. Maybe it was his calm demeanour or his distinguished grey hair. Whatever it was, I decided to take these unidentifiable pills and see what happens. I think the most important asset a medical professional can have is a strong aura of quiet competence. When I watch those hospital trauma reality shows I am always struck by how the doctors can remain so calm when confronted with horrific injuries. You never hear any of them say "Oh my God. What a mess!" when presented with a car accident victim or "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" when someone amputates a limb with a chainsaw. Probably its the first thing they learn at med school. Keep your mouth shut and even if you haven't a clue what to do at least pretend that you do. Actually, when I think of it, that would apply to a lot of professions where how you act is just as important as what you do. The last thing you would want to see is a panicking pilot or a bewildered defence lawyer. My Kiwi colleagues think I'm a bit nuts to just take these pills without really knowing what they are but I'm going with my instincts and am going to take 3 a day. Just like the man said.

Home Improvement

Easier on the eye

25/05/11 

This morning the Tatami man showed up. He didn't seem put out at all that I am a foreigner. He and his assistant were friendly and cheerful and took our mats away for recovering. He seemed quite surprised when I handed him the payment upfront in cash. I was expecting a few days turnaround but he informed me that he would be back at 4pm. Outstanding. So onto project no.2. The repair on the side of the house that we did last summer is less than asthetically pleasing to my eye. I had given some thought as to what to do to improve the look and had come up with the idea of using trellis to cover it up. Conan had framed trellis panels which were quite cheap so I decided to fix them to the side wall. They were unpainted so the rest of the day was spent on the tedious task of painting them white. Luckily the rain held off so we were able to complete this job. The weather has been crappy with the rainy season comming unusually early this year. We had all packed for high temps so dont have much in the way of clothes for this cool weather. Today was only 20 degrees. The other visitor today was the friendly plumber. This guy fixed a burst pipe for us last year. When I turned on the water yesterday, guess what? Yep, the same pipe had blow in exactly the same place. So he replaced it again but this time we got the super insulated version with lots of foam and tape. Hopefully this time will be more successful. Tatami man arrived at 4pm with our new mats. He laid them and we had a chat about the drama I had had with the big company we had emailed. It seems that the demand for cheap end tatami mats has skyrocketed with the building of temporary homes in the Tohouku area. A lot of tatami mats were trashed in the tsunami and now it's boom time for those with the production capability. They do look good and the house is full of the smell of fresh tatami. Apparently, if you are a Japanese man, the 2 finest things in life are a new wife and new tatami. So, a sucessful day. Even Mr. Trump across the road produced a friendly hello.

Same Same

24/05/11 For those who haven’t been there Bic camera is a electronics superstore. 8 floors of consumer electronics plus many other things like sports equipment and children's toys. Glenn is the perfect consumer. He’s a guy who’s got to have the latest and greatest when it comes to electronics. 50 inch plasma TV, PSP, Xbox, Iphone, Ipad, Ipod.......hes got the lot. I thought he would make a big splash out on something but after carefully considering prices here with the same at home, he pronounced that the difference is so minimal as to be not worth it. I guess that’s globalization for you. When I bought my first ipod in 2002 it was half the price in Japan when compared to home. Now it seems everything is the same price everywhere. Bigger markets get better prices due to bulk purchasing power but not by much so when you factor in the cost of shipping its very marginal. Same stuff, same price everywhere you go. The world is not as interesting as it was when you’re talking about buying stuff. But then there are some glaring exceptions. Why is it so hard to get roll on deodorant in Japan? Why can’t you get salt and vinegar chips either? This afternoon I was reunited with the Kei truck. Unfortunately in my absence, my sweet Toyota Nav system that I had butchered the dashboard to fit has been swapped for a totally useless, impractical, user unfriendly "English" system. Why can't they make a logical, useable nav system in English? Surely it can't be that hard. Luckily I don't need it as I can pretty much figure out my way around the Osaka Highway system by now. Big Dave was a little apprehensive about travelling at 100km/h in such a small vehicle with little to no frontal impact protection. By the time we reached Kameoka he pronounced me a madman for my sporting driving style. With only 660cc on tap theres only one way to drive these things...flat out!

Narita

Noisy Neighbours

23/05/11 For various reasons Air NZ now aren't operating a direct flight to KIX so we had to spend a couple of hours at Narita. This airport has got to be the biggest fuckup since....oh that's right most Japanese airports are fuckups. This place sucks more than most however. The Runways are too far away from the terminal meaning a 20 minute taxi to your parking spot. The highlight of this is the ongoing standoff between a farmer who refuses to move and the airport authority. You can see his farmhouse out the window as your airplane rolls past. It is slap bang in the middle of two main taxiways and is accessed through a tunnel. The owner of this place is the definition of stubborn. He would rather live on a runway than move house. When the airport was built back in the seventies there was a huge protest movement from the locals......riots, people killed, equipment trashed, the whole nine yards. This guy is still holding out. On his back fence he has erected some protest signs. The airport has built a guard tower which is manned 24 hours just to keep an eye on him. As a counter measure the farmer has built a tower of his own with a clock on it. All day long the airport guards get to watch this clock which probably makes for a long day for those guys. The issues with the locals mean that the airport has never really been finished. It's not operating 24 hours. One of the runways is too short so can't be used for takeoffs. The approach is long and torturous as you can't fly over anyones house. The ride into town can take up to 2 hours. My own personal gripe today was that we had to walk for 15 minutes to go through a checkpoint so we could walk back to the plane we had just got off. Seems they've not heard of a transit lounge. Then theres the story of Ibaraki Airport. 80kms from Tokyo, it's twice the distance from town as Narita but guess what......theres no rail link or frequent bus service. When it opened last year it had only 3 flights a week. By now they've got a whopping 5 destinations available. After all the messing around at Narita we finally got into Kansai at 8pm. As usual KIX is a ghostown with hardly anyone around. With such a low level of traffic we of course landed on the unnecessary, unused second runway which is miles from the terminal and meant another endless taxi. Speaking of unnecessary crap, the photo/fingerprinting ritual that all foreign devils must undergo is the worst system in the world. Nobody seems to be able to get it to work first time. Today it took me three attempts to look into a lens and put 2 fingers on a pad in a fashion acceptable to this stupid machine. Judging from the exasperation form all the other foreigners in the neighbouring line this is par for the course. To top it all off, its raining. So begins another adventure.